Emmanuel thinks of Missandei’s current role as a significant shift and major achievement, considering where she started. Aside from being Daenerys’s adviser, she’s a member of her small council, the most trusted people within the queen’s inner circle.
“She’s gone from enslaved object and a piece of property to this free-thinking, free-feeling person with emotions, opinions, and authority. And in a way, assertiveness,” Emmanuel said.
Missandei and Daenerys’s friendship has become one of the hallmark relationships on the show. She spends most of her days with Daenerys — the two powerful women existing in a world dominated by men.
“Missandei had seen this woman free people and show her incredible humanity to people. Missandei believed in her and wanted to support her,” Emmanuel said. “But then in return, Daenerys has this person who knows this world and understands these people, and she obviously seeks her advisement and her expertise on it. As a result, they’ve got this pretty great team.”
Missandei and Daenerys’s relationship extend beyond the politics of Westeros — it’s deeply personal. In Season 7, Episode 4, “The Spoils of War,” Missandei had a moment alone with Daenerys and asked if she’d heard from the Unsullied after they were ordered to storm Casterly Rock. Daenerys picked up on Missandei’s sense of urgency about Grey Worm (Jacob Anderson), an Unsullied soldier Missandei has developed a strong affection for. In fact, the two had a romantic encounter before Grey Worm left for Casterly Rock. When asked by Daenerys what happened between them, Missandei coyly replied, “Many things.” Daenerys replies, “Many things?” and the two smirk at each other, leaving the obvious unsaid.
It’s not uncommon on Game of Thrones for advisers to develop strong bonds with the kings and queens they serve, but Missandei and Daenerys’s relationship is still a unique one; the two can go from discussing war policy to “matters of the heart,” according to Emmanuel.
“The story is mostly about this war and this journey that we’re on with these characters, and so I think these very real moments between Missandei and Daenerys are lovely to see because it reminds us that they’re really just human beings,” she said. “They all have crushes, and it’s an aside from the official business.”
Their characters’ friendship on the show reflects a genuine relationship in real life, according to Emmanuel. The cast members have built an authentic bond off set and hang out outside of work, which often results in “chatting and drinking tea.” “Bless her heart, she works so hard,” Emmanuel said of her Emilia Clarke. “She’s up and puts in work a long time before I am even waking up.”
Missandei’s relationship with Grey Worm — who is also a part of Daenerys’s small council — is another window into her character’s evolution. Grey Worm, like Missandei, has been loyal to Daenerys since her usurping of Astapor, and has risen through the ranks to become the leader of the Unsullied forces. The pair’s relationship is based on their mutual understanding of where they both come from and what they’ve survived, from enslavement and abuse to gaining freedom and power.
“They found themselves in the middle of this new world, and they’ve almost helped each other through it,” Emmanuel said.
The feelings between Grey Worm and Missandei came to a head in Season 7, Episode 2, titled “Stormborn.” When Daenerys sent the Unsullied soldiers to overtake Casterly Rock and fight the Lannisters, Grey Worm was forced to leave Missandei behind in Dragonstone where she and Daenerys awaited Jon Snow’s arrival and plotted their next moves toward Westeros. In a vulnerable moment, before Grey Worm left, the two are physically intimate.
“From what I imagine about Missandei’s sexual experiences as a woman and a slave, they would not have been consensual or what she wanted,” she said. “So, this is her first time being touched and embraced by a man who cared about her, who loved her, and who she felt the same way about.”